It’s time that I came out and admitted it: I love Ellen Degeneres. Not in a way that would threaten her wife, or my husband, although as they used to say on Seinfield, “Not that there’s anything wrong with that!”
 
When I was a kid — I must have been about 6 or 7 — I was hugging one of my girlfriends or holding her hand or some other wonderful display of affection that kids do unselfconsciously, and some larger kid on the playground said to me, “You’re a lesbian!” I could tell from the way he said it with a sneer he didn’t think it was a good thing to be a lesbian, but the word didn’t have any meaning to me one way or another, so I said, “What does ‘lesbian’ mean?” His response was, “A girl who loves other girls.”. Well, sign me up! I didn’t see a problem with that at all, so I said, “O.K., fine, I’m a lesbian.” Strangely, that seemed to shut him up, so I went back to holding hands with my friend and didn’t give it another thought at the time.
 
But somehow that exchange has stuck with me as I see women and lesbians alike being treated as “less than” in so many ways, instead of being celebrated for being loving and supportive, and for providing the non-sexual affection that is so vital to everyone’s well-being. We hug our kids, our pets, our friends, our relatives and our colleagues. We hold the hands of old people who need help across the street and provide a shoulder to cry on to whomever needs one. Sometimes we reach out to total strangers who just need a human touch at that moment in their lives, and that makes our lives richer in return.
 
Not much has changed in my attitude since I was that little girl on the playground and I still wouldn’t flinch if some idiot saw me being affectionate with another female and applied a label to my behavior that they thought was less than positive. One of the joys of middle age is not giving a flying fig what other people think of you.
 
In the mid-60’s, that future bully on the playground thought that being a lesbian was a negative thing, but let’s talk about what being a lesbian means in 2014, and let’s use my lady love Ellen DeGeneres, as an out-and-proud example.
 
Ellen dances to the beat of her own drummer. Literally. She thumbs her nose at what “society” thinks a woman in show business should look like. Ellen wears pants not dresses, sneakers not heels, cuts her hair short, and has a beauty campaign with CoverGirl that “real” women can relate to. She supports about forty charities, which give aid to children, animals, peace, those suffering from natural distasters and breast cancer research. She is a very successful actor, writer, commedian, talk show host, vegan and humanitarian, and a wife. And she makes us laugh, a blessing in good times, and even more so when things are difficult. 

What’s not to love? Ellen? If you and I ever end up on the playground together, get ready for a great big hug. And if Portia doesn’t mind, I might even hold your hand.